REDEFINING THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY
The traditional family has been under attack in since the Second World War. It has all but disappeared from the American Culture. When I say ‘traditional’, what do I mean?
The establishment of the family was the second human institution ordered by God, after marriage. Let’s look at in the Bible:
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; …" (Genesis 1:27-28)*
God brought Adam and Eve together as the first married couple, and told them to be ‘fruitful and multiply’, or have children. The first family was born. In the early 20th century, the traditional American family was understood to be made up of a father, who went to work to support his family, a mother, who stayed home attending to domestic things, and of course children. Dad went to work, Mom stayed home and did the laundry, dishes, pick up the kids at school if need be and take them to piano lessons, if you will.
Dad came home at the end of the day in time to sit down with the family at a meal prepared by Mom hours earlier. The family socialized together until bed time. The next day, the cycle stared over again. This is, of course, a very general description. Families functioned to a greater or lesser degree around this.
The ‘redefining’ began during the Second World War. Men by the hundreds of thousands were being called into military service to support two wars in Europe and Asia. With the shortage of men, women were pulled from their homes to work in manufacturing facilities, building war hardware, i.e. bombers, guns, uniforms, tanks, and jeeps. When the war ended, many of the women who were pulled from their domestic duties did not want to return. They were now earning their own money and wanted to keep working. This began the rise of women leaving the home and entering the workforce which the rule today.
The desire of young couples to have what took their parents a lifetime to acquire has forced two incomes. A new house, two new cars, new furniture and the latest appliances were now in reach, on credit of course. Both would have to work to pay for all their new stuff. The cost has been tremendous to not only the individual family, but to the country as a whole.
I can remember when in high school the movement of women burning their bras took place. That was a symbolic gesture of women wanting to get out of the house, to be equal with men in the workforce. Those already in the workforce were no longer content with ‘secretarial’ type jobs. They were now wanting to climb the corporate latter with men.
It is not this author’s opinion that women should stay ‘barefoot and pregnant’, as some put it. Women should have the same freedoms and rights as men. They should be able to vote, run for office, and earn equal wage for the same job, and so forth. But that is not the issue here. The issue here is maintaining the cohesion of the family.
Over the last forty years, there has been a mass exodus of women leaving the home, entering the workplace. If a woman genuinely desires to be a ‘home maker’, she nearly has to apologize for it. A conversation between four women attending a social function might go something like this:
1st first woman: Where do you work?
2nd woman: I am a vice president at the bank.
1st woman: And where do you work?
3rd woman: I am the manager of a law firm.
1st woman: And you, where do you work?
4th woman: I’m a home maker.
1st woman: You’re a what?
4th woman replies apologetically: A home maker. You know a stay-at-home mom, at which time the ‘home maker’ is abandoned by the other three.
The modern image of woman is not her at home working with the children, but rather her dressed in a nice business suit carrying a briefcase. Regarding young women, the Bible gives the following mandate:
“…that they (older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, …” (Titus 2:4-5)
And, who knows better regarding the home than the One who created it. For the sake of making more money or having a carrier, moms across America have abandoned their primary role given them by God, and that is the family.
A visible reference to this issue is in the closure of the Home Economics departments at the local high schools and junior colleges. The sowing machines are gone, the kitchenettes have disappeared, and the labs have been abandoned. The girls have been re-routed to the business schools.
Even women in the church who claim to be Christian have fallen for this. They have abandoned their homes. To be completely fair, it’s not just the moms. In many situations, the husbands often put pressure on their wives to go to work so he / they can buy more toys. They soon find themselves so far in debt that they both have to work to make ends meet.
The exodus of women leaving the home has given rise to multi-billion dollar industries. With less time to cook, quick meals, i.e. TV dinners, microwave meals, and McDonald’s happy meals are served as a substitute. A home cooked meal today is rare.
The issue here is that the family has lost its common meeting place. It was around the dinner table that the day’s events were discussed. How was work, how was things a school today, how was your day. This is where conversation among the family members took place.
The kitchen was more than a place to accumulate appliances. It also was the family’s meeting place.
The state and Federal governments have kidnapped our children. They have stripped the parents of their God given responsibility to oversee the welfare of their own children.
· Parents may not spank their children without the fear of reprisal by Child Protective Services. Yet, the Bible makes it clear that parents are to spank their children when needed:
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)
Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. (Proverbs 23:13)
The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15)
Today, even the child being disciplined can call authorities, and turn in their own parents to CPS, which will result the confiscation of the children and public humiliation.
· Children may receive sexual counseling in school without the consent of or notice given to the parents. Sexual education has been stripped from the parents and given to the state.
· Children can receive condoms, which promotes promiscuity without the parents consent.
· A girl may receive an abortion without the parents’ consent or notification.
· School curriculum often strips away the faith based teaching given the child at home.
Not only does God condone spanking children as a form of punishment, but He has made the parents the highest earthly authority to which the children must be accountable.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)
Parents are to teach their children to respect authority. They are to be respectful to their teachers, the police, etc. However, they are to obey their parents as their final authority over all else. There isn’t even an imperative that children love God, because at their level of understand, they are loving and obeying Him in obeying their parents. Show me a child who does not obey his parents, and I’ll show you a child who has no concept of who God is.
I understand in the real world, there are children with serious disadvantages. Some have parents who are, for lack of a better word, completely irresponsible. However, parents who genuinely love their children must start somewhere. And, doing it God’s way supersedes doing it society’s way.
A recent article is an example of government usurping the parents authority over their children. It is linked below.
Due to government intervention, the children are now in control.
Our children are under attack. They are being kidnaped. Powerful forces that are well financed are taking our children away from us, stealing their innocent minds away form their goodness and indoctrinating them to immoral behavior and lifestyles by unprincipled and morally bankrupt teachers, administrators, and government officials.
There was time when making a spit wad or pulling a girl’s hair on the playground would earn you a trip to the principal’s office. Just recently, kids in a school were viewing pornography in class while masturbating, while the teacher looked on. Where was the principle?
The playground has been abandoned. Children no longer have to choose between hop-scotch or jump rope. They are too busy learning the proper use of condoms, how to have pre-marital sex without getting pregnant or contracting a disease. And, of course, if a pregnancy does occur, the school nurse can give the child all the information needed regarding the nearest abortion clinic. Oh yes, you don’t even have to tell Dad. Having to make adult decisions in place of playground decisions, our children are cheated of their childhood.
Christian values such as moral purity, marriage, abstinence have been tossed out the window by school teachers and administrators. Years of pre-school training by the parents is erased like a bad math problem from a dirty chalk board.
It has been made public just recently that Planned Parenthood plans to set up shop in high schools across America. How creative can those who are evil enough to kill unborn children be? You don’t have to come to us to kill your child, we’ll come to you!
What happened to ‘reading, writing, and automatic’?
We’re not finished. A new curriculum has been added. Now your child can learn the excitement of having two daddies or two mommies. We’ve taught our children it is wrong to lie, cheat, steel. But it is ok for a man to sleep with a man, or a woman to sleep with a woman. And, if they want to get married, go ahead and order the flowers. We are permitting school leadership to teach our children that homosexuality is ok when God calls it a perversion of nature. He calls homosexual behavior a sin.
Those who are morally bankrupt will stop at nothing to steal the moral fiber from our children and plant their deviant minds into our children’s innocence … wolves in sheep skins they are!
In case you’re wondering, Mom is in charge. In the most part, men have abrogated their authority over to their wives in our culture. The rise of matriarchal families over the past twenty years is astounding. Contrary to divine imperatives given in Scripture, the order of authority in the typical family has been re-established. Let me explain.
The Bible makes it clear that the man, husband, father is the head of the family. Here is what it says:
… the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, … (1 Corinthians 11:3)
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." (Genesis 2:21-23)
What this is saying without getting theological, is that man was created by God first and given the responsibility to oversee God’s then creative order. However, because Adam did not find companionship with the cows, horses, and birds, etc., God caused Adam to fall asleep and created woman from him, who was to be a companion to him. However, Adam was in charge.
Men have handed their headship over to their wives for
· The men are afraid of their wives.
· The men are absorbed into their own little world and don’t want to be bothered.
· They can’t make decisions. So the wife has to by default.
· They have abandoned the family. Understand, they can be sitting in the living room watching TV and still not be present.
· They avoid conflict with the wife who has been taught since childhood to exert her rights and take charge.
The problem is that the children never see ‘Dad’ exert is authority, so they don’t learn the principle of ‘headship’. As a result, family problems keep propagating themselves through the children.
Joshua expressed the issue well:
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:15)
Now there’s a man who understood headship and who was in charge.
The advertising world has gone out of its way to castrate the father. Look at the recent TV commercials.
The mother announces
that the TV dinner is out of the microwave.
And, down the stairs come the children, scurrying to the kitchen. Then, down comes Dad, tripping over his feet,
holding onto the rails, skipping every other step, looking like a bumbling
Mom is talking to
another woman. Through the bay window,
one can observe Dad. Lighting the BBQ grill, he blows the top off and
incinerates his face. Seconds later, the
BBQ grill top falls out of orbit only to land on his feet. The two intelligent women never skip a
word. What was just said in that
commercial? One of the two women is
married to a bumbling idiot.
Mom and Dad are
standing next to a table that he just assembled. She sets a coffee mug on the table. What does the mug do? It slides down the
table and off the end, crashing to the floor.
What’s being said? Bumbling
idiot. He can’t even assemble a table correctly.
has the family setting around the table a dinner time. Now that would be a rarity in itself. But, if you take a closer look, the little
children are sitting at one side of the table and the father at the other. The Mom is at the head of the table, with the
oldest daughter at the other end. Sorry
Dad…you sit with the kids!
The family is out on
a fieldtrip, walking across a suspension bridge made of rope. The two kids make it across just fine. Mom makes it across just fine. But Dad.
That bumbling idiot. He is about to go over the edge when to his
fortune, Mom reaches over and grabs him, pulling him to safety. Did I already
say ‘bumbling idiot’?
· Mom is cooking a meal. The stove is steaming with something that smells delicious. Here some the kids, the dog, and Dad. Scurrying into the kitchen, they all jump up on the counter. On their hands a knees, they bend over a far as possible to get a better sniff of what Mom’s is cooking. The order of folks on the counter is, the two kids, the dog, and last but not least, Dad. He better hope there’s enough to go around. Idiot!
These are what is called subliminal messages that are meant to communicate to the viewing audience that, as in these cases, Dad is not in charge, Mom is. Dad has the IQ of a child and could not survive if it weren’t for Mom. Dad is a bumbling idiot. Where did Mom find this guy?
One might think this is a strange subject. However, this has silently affected nearly every element of American society over the last forty years. Men, who God designed to be the head of the home, have been made a laughing stalk and consigned to the basement, if you will.
It began soon after the women's liberation movement of the 60's. Men and boys were told to get in touch with their 'feminine' side. In conjunction with the increase in fatherless homes, young boys did not have the 'male role model' to get the proper understanding as to where they fit in the gender pool. This has created a generation of men who don't know their position as a husband, father, leader, bread winner, protector. To put in another way, chivalry is dead!
Soon to follow was feel good sports. Everybody wins … there a no losers. However, it is the combative spirit in boys that drives them to win, so when they are in a combat situation, they know to fight to win.
To follow were attacks on boys’ sports and the Boy Scouts of America. Here, boys learned how to compete in a natural, safe environment in preparation for manhood. However, women could not leave well enough alone. Girls insisted on being allowed on the boys’ teams in sports, so leadership caved in. The Scouts have been under attack from the women’s liberation and homosexual organizations for years. Can you imagine, a homosexual being allowed access to a Boy Scout troop. Talk about letting the fox into the henhouse.
Young boys, who are by design energetic and busy, are frequently diagnosed as having a disorder. They are then given medication to ‘calm them down’. Problem solved. Rowdy little Billy is now passive like his sister Sally. The process of him learning to be a husband, a father, a leader, a bread winner, a protector has be circumvented so he is in better touch with his feminine side.
An extension of this problem is in the cultural belief that women should be equal with men. Or better put, women can be like me. This creates a subtle problem. Women have been allowed to enter every facet of society that was once delegated to men. Women the in the military, women as firefighters, women as police officers able to arrest men. As a result, these organizations have been compromised, that is, the requirements for entry have been lowered in order to allow women to qualify. Most women cannot function physically as men. God designed it that way. So, to allow them entry, the physical requirements have been ‘feminized’. The results? Women have been put in harm’s way. Women have been taken out of their domestic environment and delegated to responsibilities never intended for them.
Over the last thirty years, there has been an increase in vanity in regard to men. There was a time when just getting a boy to take a bath was a mother’s wish. Now, young men prance in front of the mirror like women. They brush their hair, alter their hair color, or replace their hair that falls out, touch up their eye brows, lashes, skin blemishes, and then top off their vanity fair with ear rings. Taking their last glance at the mirror, they walk away with feminine gestures.
I once knew a young man who bathed twice a day, constantly bushed his hair with a portable brush he kept on his person, and pranced in front of the mirror every change he got.
The health and cosmetic section for men almost equals that for women at your local Wal-Mart store. The footage devoted to men’s care products speaks of this subject.
The Bible warns of women spending too much time on their outward appearance rather than the woman within. At that time, men’s vanity was not an issue. It is now!
It will take a generation of bold parents who will say, 'enough is enough', and call school leaders to account. Parents must take back their children. Parents must send the women's liberation and homosexual organizations packing. They must demand schools go back to the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, and leave the sex education of their children to them.
Husbands and fathers must take back the headship of their families, tapered with love and kindness. If necessary, they must be willing to ‘downsize’ their standard of living in order to accommodate Mom being at home. Both Mom and Dad have to reassess their priorities and make the necessary adjustments.
Parents need to stop trying to make their boys into girls and girls into boys. They must understand that God has created boys and girls, men and women distinctly different. It was not His plan for them to cross those boundaries. The boundaries were to be complementary to one another.
The answer is not returning to the ‘traditional family’, but becoming a God centered family. By that I mean a family in which the father takes the mother and children to church. Where the father leads the family in reading the Word of God, prayer, and sets an example before his children of a man that loves God and love his wife.
This is preceded of course by both the father and mother first giving their hearts to Christ and letting Him be Lord and Master of their personal lives. By confessing and repenting of their sin, they, by faith, must accept Jesus’ death on the cross as payment for their sins. Seeking forgiveness, Jesus will save them, put a new heart within them and will give them a new nature. At that point, the God centered family begins. Such a family is not possible without God. The One who created the family knows how to make it work.
* All Bible references are from the New King James Version (NKJV) unless otherwise noted.
* ‘Word of God’ refers to the Bible only, in all instances in this work. No other source is assumed in that phrase. The Bible is God’s inerrant, infallible, and complete and sole Word to mankind. No other work on earth appends too or replaces the Bible.